Libby Speak - Winter Edition

Driving to our church Christmas party, we were going to pick up a little boy and his mom, but they weren't home. Libby was very sad that her friend (whom she had never met) couldn't come.
I only have 18 friends. 

Getting out the ingredients to make gingerbread men:
We need some bread for the gingerbread man.

I ask her what her bad dreams were about:
Mean ducks trying to eat me. 
An elephant coming down the stairs trying to eat me.
A turtle ate seagull (her stuffed animal named Seagull).

I've taught her that complimenting a person before asking for something makes her more likely to get what she wants:
Mommy, you are so pretty can you please get me a cream of wheat? (She always calls it A cream of wheat.)

Daddy, I like your new jacket. Can I please have some candy?

After learning what it means to "pants" someone:
I'm shirting you. (Pulling up my shirt.)

I'm skirting you. (Pulling down my skirt.)

Discussing nutrition:
When I grow bigger like you then I will eat vegetables like carrots and broccoli.

You're a big girl now. You get to eat food like hummus and vegetables and bread.
And ice cream and popsicles and lollipops.

I sent her to wash her hands and when I went to check on her, she was standing at the sink brushing water all over the sink with a paintbrush. "Libby, did you wash your hands or have you just been playing with the paintbrush?"
I just played with the paintbrush. I dip it in there (points to toilet).

Daddy, I need to watch some TV.

Trying to convince me that inanimate objects make her do things she shouldn't:
The sugar was just wanting me to eat it! (one of the many times I found her on the counter eating brown sugar with a spoon.)

Greeting her sister:
Hi there Pipe, how was your nap?

Learning to describe things:
Is this tall or long? 

Is it 14 or 10?

Is it short or small?

I told her we were going to the store.
Cowboys don't go to the store.

I told her to wash her hands.
Goats don't wash their hands.

I told her to put her shoes on.
Superheroes don't wear shoes. 

Driving home from a neighbor's house just a couple of streets over, I didn't buckle the kids into their carseats. They started to stand up. Jenn: Kids, you have to at least pretend like you're buckled in.
Or a mailman will put us in jail. Jenn: Well, a mailman can't put us in jail, but a policeman can.
Well, it's a type of man. 

Singing her own made up song after church one day:
I will sit in my chair and raise my hand. I will keep my feet away from other people. I will be good for Jesus. I will be a sunbeam.

What are you excited about in our new house?
I like the basement in our new house a little bit better than this house. And I like the door knobs and the doors.

I picked her up and accidentally poked her in the bum with my keys.
Now I won't be able to pee because I can't sit on the potty. And I won't be able to eat because the food goes in my mouth and through my stomach and down to my bum. And I won't be able to grow up and be a mommy and have kids because it will hurt when the baby comes out. Yes, it will probably hurt when the baby comes out, but not because I poked you in the bum with my keys.