Tae Kwon Do

Libby started Tae Kwon Do in October. The YMCA offers a really inexpensive class for kids from 4-7 and I thought it would be a good way to build Libby's confidence. She took a free tumbling class at the Y last year for a few months and it was a good growing experience. It was so hard for her at first - she was really, really nervous. But she got slightly more comfortable as the weeks went by.

Anyway, we decided to try Tae Kwon Do this year. The first day was very hard again. She had tears in her eyes the whole time. But thankfully, one of the teachers took her aside and worked with her one-on-one and that made all the difference. The second week was still difficult, but she's loved it ever since. Now, she looks forward to Tae Kwon Do all week.

She had her first test this week and earned red and blue stripes on her white belt. She also got to break her first board! Libby was toward the end of the line, which I was glad of, because I was hoping she'd see the other kids do it and not be afraid to try. Most kids had to try a few times and some needed the teacher's help (he would put his hands on their foot to give their kick some power). I was shocked when she broke it on her first try, without any help! She kicked it with just the right part of her foot. Jared took a quick 2 second video and we've probably watched it 50 times - we're so proud! I'd be proud no matter what, but it was so wonderful to see Libby succeed because she is still the most timid one in the class. The teachers and other parents were pretty shocked, too.

Christmas and New Year

We had a low-key Christmas at home. Libby had been asking for a "stuffed animal robot that is electric and has a remote control" for months. The exact particulars of her wish did not get fulfilled, but she did get a remote-control robot as well as a small robot toy and she was pretty happy. The first time Piper saw Santa this season, it was at our church Christmas party. She knew that I had brought candy canes for Santa to hand out, so when she sat on Santa's lap, she simply asked for a candy cane. Santa laughed and said that was pretty easy. She saw Santa again when we went to an Iowa Energy basketball game and this time she asked for a monkey. So she got a little monkey that shoots balls from its mouth. The kids also got new dresses, stockings, several drawing books and art supplies, hairbows. They also wrapped lots of random objects from around the house and gifted them to each other. By far the biggest hit for Piper was the pack of gum she got in her stocking. She is always asking for gum, so it was the best day of her life to get her very own pack and chew piece after piece. The pack of gum seriously did not leave her hands for hours.

Santa gave me socks?!

Piper and her beloved gum

Birdie didn't get anything in her stocking except a big pile of love and hugs and kisses

We have a tradition of giving the kids a box of sugared cereal for Christmas, since we try not to eat it year round

Libby has been doing tae kwon do since October and has really loved it, so she got a uniform for Christmas

Remote control robot

We spent New Year's Eve at a friend's house with a few other families and had a great time. We didn't stay late enough to ring in the new year, but the kids still stayed up waaay past their bedtime (I think we left at 10:30) and on the way home, Libby was finishing a little bag of popcorn. She told me she was "sleep-eating." "I'm so tired, I'm sleeping, but I'm still eating."



On New Year's Day, we went sledding. The kids were much braver than I expected. Libby screamed every time she went down the hill, but she loved it. They play on the sleds in our yard and driveway, but this was the first time they've really been sledding. Birdie was asleep, so we kept her in the carseat with lots of blankets and brought her to the hill with us. She woke up while we were still playing, so Jared and I took turns sitting in the car with her. Piper fell off the sled once and scraped her face, so was done after that, but everyone had a great time.

Birdie - 4 months

Birdie feels so huge to me at 4 months old. According to my bathroom scale, she weighs 15 pounds already. And I'm pretty sure she's about to pop a couple teeth. She's been fussier than normal the past week and a half. In fact, she was so upset on Christmas Day, I considered calling the doctor, thinking maybe she had an ear infection or something. But I decided to just comfort her the best I could and wait it out. She got a lot better that evening (I started putting on some homeopathic teething gel...maybe that helped?). And then I decided to check her mouth, and bingo...2 rough white ridges on their way in.

I just love this baby so much. She is so quick to smile lately. And her laughs are adorable. She was cracking up last night at Libby, who was having a solo dance party in the living room.

She has grabbed her toes a couple of times and rolled over twice (from front to back).

Birdie - 3 months

Birdie is so completely loved in our family. At 3 months old, she has gorgeous blue eyes and is getting squishier every day. She seems huge to me now. She is smiling more often and is starting to laugh. Her cousin Sarah got her first real belly laugh out of her while they were visiting for Thanksgiving. Since then, she's given us a few more good laughs and it is thrilling every time.

She sucks on her hands all the time, far more than my other babies did. She'll suck on a pacifier for a few seconds if Piper happens to shove one in her mouth, but she doesn't hold it in on her own and I don't really want to be tethered to one anyway, so I haven't encouraged her to take it.

Piper is as obsessed as ever with Birdie. She is constantly in her face, kissing her hands, hugging her head, reading to her, waking her up, and talking to her. Libby loves her too, of course, and is quick to tell me "mom, Birdie wants you!" whenever she cries. If I need to put Birdie down for any reason, I'll say to the girls "who wants to keep Birdie happy?" and they'll both run over and entertain Birdie.

Birdie has become MUCH more content in the past month. I wouldn't classify her has a fussy baby at all anymore. I can now usually put her in a bouncy seat while I eat or wash the dishes and she doesn't complain. It's wonderful. She doesn't like to nap alone, though, so unless she falls asleep in the carseat, she takes most naps while I'm holding/wearing her. Soon enough, she will start napping on her own and I will miss holding her so much, so I'm grateful for the chance to hold her now.

I just can't imagine loving her any more. I am so thankful she's in our family!

And, I have startlingly few pictures of Birdie this last month, so here are a few we took the day of her blessing with Grandma and Grandpa Benson and Aunt Rachel and family.

Birdie - 2 months

I'm already 2 weeks late on this post, but better late than never.

At 7.5 weeks, Birdie weighed 10 lbs 11 oz and was 22.75 inches long and today (10.5 weeks) she is 11 lbs 4 oz. And she is outgrowing her fussiness...hallelujah! It really was never that bad. She slept a lot, so it's not like she was screaming for 12 hours a day; it was just that anytime she was awake, she was fussing. She still wants to be held and bounced like most babies, but she is having longer stretches of content wakefulness. And she's smiling! Some days my cheeks hurt from smiling at her so much. I can't get enough of those baby smiles!

She likes being in the water, so she gets a bath almost every night. That usually buys me 10-20 minutes of fuss-free time. And I love seeing her experience the freedom of the water. She kicks like crazy, sometimes splashing herself in the face. She never moves as much as she does when she's in the bath.

Birdie is settling into a bit of a routine. She goes to bed whenever I do (she sleeps with me), between 9 and 11 and wakes around 3 to eat, then again at 6. As long as the older kids don't come in and wake her up, she will go back to sleep until about 8. In the daytime, she naps whenever I can bounce her to sleep and sleeps until the kids wake her up. Which is to say, there's not much of a routine there. I love how much Libby and Piper love her, but I feel bad for Birdie that she gets woken up so much! Some days I can tell she is just exhausted and I resort to locking the older kids out of the room, but since my room is not sound-proof, it doesn't always help. Oh well. I'm grateful for the love they all have for each other.

I love this baby so much!

Birdie - 1 month

Well, it's happened again. I birthed a baby in the heat of the summer and then, I emerge from my den and we're in the thick of fall. After I woke up from the disorienting exhaustion of Libby's first 2 months, I remember having the strange feeling that the world had somehow gone on without me and I was left behind. Anyway.....

I love having a newborn. I love the sweet sounds they make, their jerky reflexes, their cuddles. Birdie is such a welcome addition to our family. I am so glad she's here and I can't imagine our family without her!



Birdie is named after my great grandmother Alpha Birdie Cotten, whom we always refer to as Mimma. I have fond memories of Easter egg hunts in Mimma's backyard in Sweetwater, TX and later, when she moved to an assisted living home in Dallas, going out to eat with her at Luby's. I still have a thank-you card that Mimma wrote to me one year after I had given her a birthday card. That was probably the first time I ever received a thank-you card and it made me feel so grown up! She died when I was 11 and I look forward to our reunion someday! In the meantime, I get to think of her whenever someone asks about Birdie's name.

Alpha Birdie Cotten - "Mimma"

I love this picture of Mimma - classic 20s fashion! Doesn't she look just like Sarah Bunting from Downton Abbey?



But back to this cutie...




My parents were here for the first 3 weeks of Birdie's life, which was so nice. (They had planned to arrive on a Saturday afternoon and it just so happened that she was born early that Saturday morning, so the timing was quite perfect.) They were so helpful taking care of Libby and Piper and giving them lots of needed attention. I got to just worry about me and the baby for the first 3 weeks.

Libby and Piper both really love Birdie. Libby wants to hold Birdie all the time. But since Birdie spends most of her time either eating or sleeping (and is crying if she's not eating or sleeping), there's never enough time for Libby to get her fill.

Piper is obsessed with Birdie. She isn't concerned with holding Birdie, but she cannot keep her hands off her. She is constantly rubbing Birdie's head, giving her kisses, and talking sweetly to her. Multiple times this past month, Piper has been in the middle of a tantrum and then cried, "I want to kiss Birdie!" And with a kiss, Piper is all better.

Birdie is a bit of a fussy baby - if she's not nursing or sleeping, she's crying. She's taken a few naps in the carseat and a couple in the crib, but all others are in my arms or on my chest in a baby carrier. If I put her down in the crib or bouncy seat or swing, I have about 5 minutes before she starts crying. I've actually timed her a few times. If I'm really fast, I can take a shower or load the dishwasher in this time, but not much else. I'm embracing a messy house right now. My kitchen floor is sticky and there are piles of laundry everywhere, but I love the cuddles and I really don't mind.

She looks so tiny in her carseat!

Love those spit bubbles

Birdie's Birth Story

"It is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us."- Charles Dickens

At about 10:15 on Friday night I was sitting on the couch in the basement watching a movie with Jared. I felt a sharp punch to my cervix and then a pop like a water balloon popping. I felt a little trickle so I got up and ran to the bathroom as water poured down my leg. As soon as I got to the bathroom and realized that my water had broken my body started shaking involuntarily. It must have been either hormones or nerves although I didn't really feel nervous at the time - just kind of surprised that I was actually going to have a baby that night. I had thought for a while that the baby might come early but it was still a bit surprising to be a full week early. I went upstairs to be in my own room and started to get things ready for the birth. Jared said he would take care of it all and told me to just rest. But I was shaking so much I couldn't rest even when I was lying down, so I said I'd rather be up and moving around. Jared called the midwife to tell her to my water broken and she said to call back when I started having contractions, probably in a couple of hours. Jared and I sort of scoffed at that - I was hoping and expecting I'd be done in a couple of hours! (I had such a fast labor with Piper - 4 hours total, with the first 2 hours being no more than mild cramping.) I started having some contractions within about 30 minutes. They were really mild at first, but by 11:30 were coming more consistently, so Jared texted the midwife to let her know we were ready for her.

I've heard that some women like to labor sitting on the toilet but I never thought I would do that. It just sounded kind of gross to me. But because my water had broken, every time I had a contraction amniotic fluid would leak out so it was easiest to just stay seated on the toilet. This was also convenient because I had to pee every 5 minutes. The contractions hurt much more if my bladder was not completely empty. Eventually I turned around backwards on the toilet so I could rest my arms on the tank and lean over. I was so tired because I was still shaking constantly. I couldn't rest even between my contractions. I was listening to Hypnobabies, which helped my mental state, but I just couldn't control my body. I asked Jared to rub my lower back. I've never had much back pain in my labors before but this time I felt a lot of pressure in my lower back. At one point Jared left the room to let the midwife in. I was still leaning over the back of the toilet with my earbuds in and my eyes closed. I sensed someone returned to the room and put their hands on my back; I noticed right away they weren't Jared's hands, but I didn't care whose they were. For about 5 minutes, I didn't bother to turn around and see who it was (it was Rebecca). I knew Rebecca was the midwife on call, but because she isn't licensed yet (she just graduated from midwifery school) one of the other 2 midwives was going to come, too, and I didn't know who would get there first. Kari, the other midwife, arrived a few minutes later.

My legs started to fall asleep from being seated for so long so I stood up to try different positions. I paced the bathroom, leaned over on the birth ball, leaned against the door frame of the bathroom with a fan in my face. I started to wonder why my labor was taking so long. I was still expecting it to go faster than Piper's. I could tell the baby was posterior because I could feel limbs towards the front of my belly. I wondered if the baby's position might be prolonging labor, so I asked the midwife what I should do. She gave me a few ideas of positions to try. I got on my hands and knees and Jared stood over me, holding a long sheet under my belly and gently swaying my belly back and forth. Next, I tried a really awkward position in the pool with my knees on the ground and the tops of my feet resting on one edge of the pool and my arms leaning on the opposite edge. Basically, my body made a v-shape. Rebecca came over and felt the water and said it would need to be warmer for the actual birth so Jared started adding more hot water. But I was too hot so I had to get out. I tried a few more position changes like leaning on the ball and pacing the room. I also did the lift-and-tuck through about 10 contractions. While standing, I put my hands under my belly and lifted up while tucking my tailbone through each contraction. This is supposed to encourage baby to rotate, but it also puts a LOT more pressure on the cervix - good for moving things along, but also pretty painful. At one point, Rebecca asked me where I was feeling my contractions and I said "my cervix!" That's such a unique and curious feeling - really unlike anything else. Kari suggested I try the shower, so I did that until I got too hot again. As much as I wanted to just lie down, I also wanted to speed things along so I did a lot of upright positions.

Finally, I was so exhausted I decided to lay on the bed for just a few minutes. I laid there for a few contractions and noticed that the contractions were starting to feel pushy. So I decided to get in the tub. It was 3:05 AM. I started on my hands and knees but soon got into more of a squat. Rebecca knew I wanted to catch the baby myself so she showed me what kind of position would make that the easiest - squatting with one of my legs out to the side (like a deep sideways lunge). I put a couple fingers in my birth canal to feel how close the head was - it was right there! I knew I was ready to start pushing. With my fingers, I could feel the head descend during each push and then recede a bit. On one of the contractions I felt the head almost crown and then go back. Rebecca said "don't fear it." That was helpful, because I think I was a little afraid of what was coming. I remembered the"ring of fire" sensation with Piper's birth and how much it stung. But I decided to give it my all on the next contraction and get it over with. With the next contraction, I pushed the head to crowning. This time it didn't recede. That is a strange feeling to have the head almost sticking out for a 3 minutes while waiting for the next contraction. But it didn't sting this time! At this point I needed to lean back so that I would be able to pull the baby up out of the water. I didn't feel like I could sit down though (there was a head down there!), so I sort of leaned back on my hands. On the next contraction, at 3:25 AM, I pushed the baby all the way out - head and body came all at once - and then sat back and quickly grabbed baby out of the water and pulled it to my chest. It was such a relief to get the head out!!! The best pain relief for labor is birth - it's complete and instantaneous.

The first thing I did was look to see what we had - it was a girl! I was so exhausted I was still breathing hard, panting really. For the next 10 minutes, I held the baby, rubbing her back and admiring the very thick coat of vernix. Rebecca asked if we wanted to cut the cord yet. I waited a couple more minutes and then said "okay let's cut it. I want to get this placenta out." It was starting to descend and I was feeling the fullness of it in my birth canal. Jared cut the cord and took the baby skin to skin. I sat back up to squatting and pushed one time and got the placenta out. I remember grunting through that push because of the pressure and fullness and the midwife said "this one doesn't have bones." I moved to the bed and Jared brought the baby to me. I was still shaking hard at this point and was exhausted but I was just so so relieved that it was over. And so excited that I finally had my baby in my arms! And thrilled it was a girl!



There's definitely some pain associated with childbirth, but the overarching feeling I experienced with this labor was fatigue. I've never been so tired. My legs and butt muscles hurt for days afterwards because of the hours of shaking. Of course it was all worth it, though. Those afterpains on the other hand...I could do without. If anything scares me away from having more kids, it's knowing that afterpains get worse with each baby. They nearly brought me to tears this time.

A couple other things I want to remember:

Around 2:30 AM, Rebecca asked if she could check my cervix. I thought about it for a few minutes and then said I would let her, but I didn't want to be told how far I was dilated because I was worried I'd be discouraged if I wasn't as far along as I'd hoped. She did the exam and told me I was progressing nicely and that baby was positioned well and was not posterior anymore. After the birth was over, I asked her how far I had been dilated and she said 4 cm, though I quickly stretched to 6 cm as she was doing the exam. With all the contractions I had in the weeks prior to the birth, I figured I'd be already be 4 cm when labor began. I was so glad I hadn't heard those numbers in the moment! But little did I know I'd have a baby in my arms in less than an hour.

My coping strategies for this labor were different than my previous labors. I was so antsy this time. I changed positions a lot and was upright as much as possible. One of the cues that really helped from Hypnobabies was the phrase "every pressure wave is like a strong, warm hug." It really did help to imagine the contractions (pressure waves) as hugs. There was also another cue about welcoming each pressure wave. I latched onto that one as well. I was so anxious for labor to be over that I really did welcome each contraction. Rather than being afraid of the next one, I'd psych myself up for another one to come on, because each contraction got me closer to the end.

Pushing was such a relief. With my first birth, I got an epidural right before I started pushing, so I had to be directed when and how long to push, but I had no sense of how much progress I was making. With my second birth, I never once consciously pushed (other than when birthing the placenta). My body just...expelled the baby on its own and I never had the urge to help it along. This time, as soon as I felt the contractions change to expulsive contractions (what my former childbirth class teacher referred to as "reverse dry heaves") I had the urge to push...hard. And when I pushed, the contraction hurt much less. It's interesting how each labor and birth can be so different.