Kid Speak, 2016

A running list of funny things my kids have said since February. 

Ahem...



Libby: "My hands are so dry they feel like a dead leaf."

Libby, praying: "Dear Heavenly Father, please help us not be robbers."

Piper, talking about Leighana's husband, Stefan, getting his appendix out: "Leighana's Stefan went to the hospital to get his apostle out."

Piper, playing with stuffed animals: "Attention, ladies and peppermint, we are going to have a wedding."

Piper, playing with Birdie: "Birdie is a pinchy little girl."

Piper was upset because we put a password on the TV so they couldn't watch cartoons anytime they wanted. Emphatically, "Dad made a wrong choice by locking the TV."

Piper, getting ready to leave the house, singing: "I am a princess, yes I am. And I can't find my left shoe. No I can't. It looks like this. Grandma gave me these for my birthday."

Whenever Piper gets dressed and the clothes she wants to wear are inside out, she throws them at me and says, "Mom, can you figure out this?"

Me: "Wanna watch Hotel Transylvania 2?" 
Libby: "Transylvania? I though it was Pennsylvania." 
Piper: "I thought it was trash-can-vania."

Piper: "I have something to tell you from my scriptures." (Reading from scriptures) "If you listen to your mom, you will get My Little Pony and get to watch it every night."

Piper, while we're out on a walk: "I smell honey rays!" (Honey Rays is a character from My Little Pony, but she really meant honey suckle.

Piper comes downstairs dressed in leggings with a tucked in t-shirt: "This is my running outfit."

Piper had a nightmare about giant spiders in the house. She got in bed with Libby. 
Libby: "What's wrong?" 
Piper: "You don't want to know."

Piper, while we're eating: "Birdie, you're so uh-barassing! 
Me: "Why is she embarrassing?"
Piper: "She drops everything off her tray!"

Libby just lost a tooth and was feeling the hole. 
Piper: "Libby, stop talking with your hand in your mouth. You're so uh-barassing!"

Libby: "This morning Piper stuck her finger in her butt and then made me smell her finger." 
Me: "Did you do it?" 
Libby: "She made me!" 
Me: "Piper! Did you wash your hands?" 
Piper: Looks around, "I think so." 

Piper, after I read a long book to Libby: "Wow, that was long. That was 80 miles."

I saw Piper putting a spoon in the silverware drawer. 
Me: "Piper, is that the spoon you just used?" 
Piper: "Yes." 
Me: "It goes in the sink." 
Piper: Stares/smiles. "Sometimes I just lick spoons and put them back in the drawer."